歷史的缺席
June 13th, 2007上個星期四，我失落了我的數據硬盤。這塊四乘六吋大小不起眼的金屬磚，在一個以時間丈量土地、指擊代替書寫、符號傳遞表情的奇異年代，它對一個人的意義，幾乎可以用『一生』來形容。
如果我個人的生活從十年前自立時開始計，『一生』這個詞都不誇張。在這方鐵盤上，無以恢復的有我十年間的書信，八年間的文檔，四年間的音樂，三年間無底片的照片，另有個人歷史交匯於互聯網史的足跡無數，包括書簽、筆記、賬單、統核……
十年前的我已經倚賴電腦而生活，圖畫書寫不經紙筆，所有遠距的交談微縮為磁體上的矩陣。幾日前那個『索性將當下的一切、此前的種種盡數拋飛』的願望以未曾考量的方式不意實現，卻驗證了我終究是個對歷史難相割舍的人。那一夜碎夢不成眠，在凌晨的藍光中驚醒，我一身汗透，夢裡一顆惶然的心仍撲撲不止。彷彿十年的歷史被瞬間挖空，除了頭腦中殘存的碎片，我對往昔無從喚起。
幾年間換用過多臺電腦，我不久前終將全部數據收錄於一隻硬碟，檔案依照類型年月分冊，自此感到生活也有了秩序。可是凡事欠缺未雨綢繆的考慮，我沒有定時備份的習慣，硬盤徹底毀損，於我仿如家園付之一炬，損失的雖不是金錢，卻是一個人一段時期存在的證據。
我越來越依靠數據界定的生活，在現實中的痕跡越來越淡漠。我已經一年沒有拍照膠片，多年沒有收到過朋友書寫的信函，我只有箏的照片一幀，墨工的字紙兩張。許多年前我曾腦海中不忘三四十個電話號碼，得益于中文字單音節抑揚頓挫的發聲，七位的數字像詩句一樣上口，可是現在，我連自家的號碼都記不住。手機磁卡上收錄了一切聯絡的方式，網絡信箱涵括了所有地址。朋友搬家不再知會新址，只有郵箱遷移才告知。將什麼人從生活中抹去，只需在電腦手機幾處刪除，他就已全無影蹤。
一個人過份倚仗外物協助記憶的累積，頭腦則像生了蠹害的木屋，一朝失卻外物就大幅崩坍。層出不窮的關于世界末日的科幻電影常給我遐思，如果真有事件導致全球維度的書焚儒殤，以少數我等尋常人的力量，幾時才能重建今日的科技與文明？恐怕連儒勒·凡爾納的《神秘島》裡人物的能力都不具。
也許是時候改變一下生活的方式。也許這是一個令人警醒的演習。倘若災難降臨，生活的物件從零開始，人還是要重振旗鼓，無論失掉的『曾經』有多令人痛惜。
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Comment by timing @ June 13, 2007 21:31
真太凑巧了。我前几天才异常郁闷。
因为一个旧邮箱里的信件全部丢失了，那晚也是“一夜碎梦难眠”，好象某段时间突然虚空了，而且再也无法触摸，曾经的爱恨似乎也消失了曾经存在的依据。
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Comment by timing @ June 13, 2007 21:33
一个一直用开的blog毫无预警也无法登陆，里面的东西也全部消失了。
开了新的blog后，又开导自己，这又是新的旅程的开始。过去的种种或者是甜蜜的负担，但毕竟上路还是轻装为便。
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Comment by tian @ June 14, 2007 03:22
http://non-site.blogbus.com/logs/3342572.html
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Comment by Archifan @ June 14, 2007 04:00
硬盘只要不是物理性质的损伤,就算被格式化了也能救会来.找人帮帮忙吧.
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Comment by 長園花事 @ June 14, 2007 04:07
哎，有失必有得。。。
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Comment by Archifan @ June 14, 2007 04:17
我的一段历史被我冷藏了,两年前的意外损失了一块硬盘,部分物理损伤.里面有一些设计作业,实在不想放弃,于是等那天有技术能修的时候再那拷贝出来.
嘿嘿…你要好好保存这硬盘啊,等到作古之时可以作为曾经存在证据,一同天入土为安….
说起数据,现在是很依赖于电脑储存信息,人脑只是起了分门别类和索引的用途.脑子就变成了一张网,里面只是数据和数据之间的距离和关系.
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Comment by Z @ June 14, 2007 04:24
謝謝 timing 的回聲，tian 給的消息，還有 Archifan 的建議 ;-)，和長園的慰藉。硬盤是物理性質的損壞，試過幾種軟件補救的方法都無效，剩下唯一能做的就是送往硬盤拯救實驗室（Hard Drive Recovery Lab）進行修復，可是此地手工勞動極為昂貴，費用大約要數百至上千美金。仔細想了幾天，其實有些事情沒有什麼了不起。
Sooner or later we all need to learn to live with losses one way or another. Luckily this one isn’t really a big deal.
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Comment by snowzoeleia @ June 14, 2007 07:05
如果你能在中国，可能就没有那么复杂了。。这里比较便宜。。
我也有类似的经验。。我的欧洲旅行的照片都没有了。。我差点哭了。。
所以。。还是以后有些东西顺便burn a cd放在书架上。。。。
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Comment by Z @ June 14, 2007 21:40
哈哈，50+GB的數據刻成CD不知到要多少張呀，DVD也很費功夫。可以考慮使用多重備份兼 RAID System。
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Comment by Martin Loser King Sr. @ July 17, 2007 20:58
raid system to backup some 50g data, one of the dumbest things i have ever heard.
what kind of raid u r talking about? really wonder if u can afford that luxury (except for a crappy mirror disk) given the fact that even a few hundard bucks could get u pissed off.
backup at multiple places, or try some online backup services.
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Comment by Z @ July 19, 2007 13:43
You are right. A RAID system for backing up 50GB data is dumb. Sorry that I didn’t give the full context of the problem or why I would choose to use a RAID system.
A RAID system provides automatic failover upon a hard disk failure. It gives me an ever-working (hopefully) environment that I don’t need to waste time reinstalling the software when the hardware fails. Of course if both disks fail at the same (for the one I use) it’s no different than a regular hard drive. But the chance is much less slim.
My solution to the problem is having a RAID-1 system with two hard drives on the local computer for failover, and a remote computer with a RAID-1 system (two hard drives) for backup, using software to backup daily from the local computer to the remote one.
I’m more pissed about the time and energy wasted on this matter than the data lost. That’s why I would rather spend a lot more money to have a safer environment for the future than to fix the already broken one. But the “safer environment” could be just an illusion. It’s an insurance, not a guarantee.
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Comment by Martin Loser King Sr. @ July 19, 2007 23:58
wonderfu lecture and great homework u have done.
if i tell my colleages that I have a raid-1 system (instead of a mirroring disk) in my pc, they must think i am overdosed,
though the two are essentially the very smae thing.
no offense, just raid-1 system sounds too serious.
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Comment by Z @ July 20, 2007 17:22
Sorry, I wasn’t giving you a lecture. :P
Yes, it probably sounds more serious than necessary. But now I also use my home computer to do some serious work I can’t afford losing. Overall, it’s worth it.