星期天的凌晨，我等待時間回撥一小時——兩點時重新回去一點。家裏那隻莫名其妙的鐘，會自行調節DST，到了時候指針就像瘋了一樣狂跑，一兩分鐘內跑完二十三小時的路——因為倒撥一小時它不懂：時間總不會倒流吧。可這隻鐘的日歷大概是錯的，該調的時候不調，我只好動手去撥，過些天半夜裡它又自己開始滴滴答答的奔，害我又要改回來。

希回家鄉去了。走之前還不忘燒好剩下的半個南瓜凍在冰柜裡，叫我不要忘記吃。卡片上寫了一件件我要做的事，和車鎖匙並排放在桌上。每一次他出行，我總會想起小時候聽的那個脖子上掛大餅的人的故事。懶惰的、生活瑣事等待人照料的我呀，就像脖子上被掛了大餅。

希在家，不僅時時要打工作電話，還要一天到晚開著電視機熱鬧。他和媽媽都是可以想專心就可以聽而不聞的人，令我羨慕不已。他嗓門大，新聞又時時插播廣告，我在隔壁工作，覺得家裏總像有一屋子的人。因而走掉他一個，好像走掉所有人，房間忽然靜得像墓地。

到週末日子過得晨昏顛倒，夕照時才開始煮第一餐。晚上六點多小睡一覺到八點多醒來，再消磨時光到凌晨。電話裡他說家鄉人還是那麼懶，商鋪早上九點開門至十二點就關張午休四小時，再從四點開到八點。說得我很慚愧。他是個勤奮的人，最見不慣不求進取、生活漫無目的。有一回他加班太狠，雙手乾宮處打字打得瘀青，看到我瞠目結舌。暗自想，根本是個機器人嘛。

近日嚴重嗜茶，暫時拋棄了我鐘愛的綠茶，從周記買來的洋甘菊和橙香紅樹茶是我的新歡，每天要喝掉三四壺，前者味濃過杭白菊，後者配一塊冰糖幾滴檸檬汁，正是晚秋的好辛香。

大概一個人不作聲久了，神色都會帶一點對寂靜的沉湎吧。下午進城去做車維護，伙計是個喋喋不休亂開玩笑的人，不停的和周圍的客人調侃。我在一旁等，似乎令他有點不安，說，你可異常沉默啊。我不打算聽自己的聲音，就故弄玄虛無言的笑笑。車入庫，我出街去逛。十一月了，還是游人如織，躲過鬧市，到『消失的地平線舊書鋪』隨便翻翻，選了幾本，中有卡爾維諾的《寒冬夜行人》。格外提到他是因為在路邊觀街景時候想起《看不見的城市》第一篇裡的句子：

… he feels envy toward those who now believe they have once before lived an evening identical to this and who think they were happy, that time.

William Weaver 的譯文澹而寧靜的寓言，是原文的緣故吧？聽起來總像在誇誇其談的義大利語可以寫得如此雋文，我又貪婪的動了學外語的念頭。

街上的人目光都空洞的很，這令我有點沮喪。到『邊緣書店』門口坐了坐，發現在家光腳慣了，出門穿鞋子走路一小時竟然雙腳都磨出了水泡。

今年起DST時間表改期，其實帶來的麻煩堪比Y2K，公司的新產品正值導航期，明天大概就有許多問題。我的頭開始大了。

一整天在聼同一首歌。爲什麽總是最安靜的音樂讓人產生最強烈的熱望。我喜歡 Anouar Brahem 這張照片，以及這一類的照片。好像褪掉了彩色。起初幾乎誤以爲黑白片，可凝視愈久，那一點滴顔料愈豐富，黑愈濃重，白愈分明。

這許多浮想聯翩，也許是，冬天裏的光線和聲響都空洞了，不禁打翻思緒以製造内心的熱鬧。

These pieces emerged from the keys of a piano. Still affected by the powerful emotion of the encounter, and the exhasustion which followed the recording of “Thimar”. I set the oud aside for a few months, something that had never happened to me before. It was as though the music came from there, from the spaces created by that pause. As though it was the very expression of that lack.

…The piano was the main character, the sole protagonist. It was only later on that the oud came in. It joined the piano gradually, discreetly at first, then it assumed its place. It was a long time, on the other hand, before the idea of integrating the accordion came into my head, whereas it seems obvious to me now. It’s like this music’s inner song.

…A tempo passed on to me by the movement of a tree I could see from my window, swaying gently in the breeze.

- Anouar Brahem, Les pas du chat noir

Anouar Brahem: Leila au pays du carrousel (Les pas du chat noir)

今年的天寒得晚，冬至將臨，才零星下過兩場雨。白天一如既往的明媚溫暖，只有在夜晚，從忘記関緊的窗戶逼進的涼氣，讓人想起穿上襪子，才想起冬天。夜裏濕潤的薄寒，在這個季節，卻似彌足珍貴。有些很鍾愛的碟，對環境的要求卻很苛刻，凡常人心浮躁，難以放來聼，這時候倒是心境恰如其分的詮釋。

Thomas Binkley，1932-1995，魯特琴師和早期音樂學者，1964年領德國慕尼黑早期音樂組 Studio der Fruehen Musik (Early Music Quartet) 錄製了一輯《布蘭詩歌》，摒棄了歌劇弦管，清簡樸素，始終是我最愛。

Tempus transit gelidum
mundus renovatur,
verque redit floridum,
forma rebus datur.
avis modulatur,
modulans letatur
lucidior
et lenior
aeriam serenatur;
iam florea,
iam frondea
silva comis densatur.

Ludunt super gramina
virgines decore,
quarum nova carmina
dulci sonant ore.
annuunt favore
voluchres canore,
favent et odore
telllus picta flore.
cor igitur
et scingitur
et tangitur amore,
virginitues et avibus
strepentibus sonore.

Tendit modo recia
puer pharetratus;
cui deorum curia
prebet famulatus,
cuius dominatus
nimium est latus,
per hunc triumphatus
sum et sauciatus:
pugnaveram
et fueram
in primis reluctatus,
sed iterum
per puerum
sum veneri prostatus.

Unam, huius vulnere
saucius, amavi,
quam sub firmo federe
michi copulavi.
fidem, quam iuravi,
numquam violavi;
rei tam suavi
totum me dicavi
quam dulcia
sunt basia
puelle!
iam gustavi:
nec cinnanum
et balsamum
esset tam dulce favi!

Thomas Binkley: Tempus Transit Gelidum (Carmina Burana)

1990年重版的CD唱片插頁上，他寫道：

在六十年代初，對早期音樂的研習更加注重旋律上的細節：混淆正確和錯誤的音符如同混淆現實與虛構。那時候我們不僅不像現在這樣願意接受一支樂曲可以存在不同的版本、並且每個版本同樣具有相當的藝術價值和可信度，更缺乏即興演奏所需要的對中古樂器及其技巧的熟知。事實上，那時候我們對中古樂器幾乎一無所知，沒有人願意參照中世紀的演奏範例，早期音樂全部使用近代樂器和演奏規則，並認爲製造美麗的音色比製造有特色的樂符更重要。其實，重要的原始素材就在我們面前，只不過都被我們忽略了：我指的是整個中世紀修辭學體系。那時候我們剛剛開始探索和認知由一種樂器對整篇樂曲的色彩能到達什麽程度的影響。直到決定放棄採用文藝復興時期音樂形式的時候，我們才終于取得了一個飛躍：從某些東南亞、中東和北非的音樂形式中我們找到了範曲，那是一種以單部音色為基礎、產生于嚴謹的美學理論的樂器搭配方式，在廣泛的程度上可以應用于西方音樂。我們從未試圖單純效仿東方音樂，而是在探索重現中世紀音樂的過程中得到了一種似乎被“濾”過的西洋樂。

In the early 1960s early-music specialists greatly concerned about the details of the melodies: the ambiguity of right notes versus wrong notes was regarded as being similar to the ambiguity that exists between fact and fiction. At that time we did not easily accept as we do now, that there could be multiple versions of a piece of music, each with equal artistic merit and historical credibility. There was no clear understanding regarding the details of instruments and their playing techniques, so important in devising an improvisatory performance style. Indeed, very little was actually known about medieval instruments. No one performing medieval music at that time was willing to trust the performance paradigms of the Middle Ages, everyone employed instruments from more recent times and applied modern “quality control” to performance standards, believing that it was more virtuous to make a beautiful sound (whatever that may be) than to select interesting notes to play. Although an important original source for historical performance was readily available, we did not recognize it: I am thinking of the whole complex of medieval rhetoric. At that time we were just beginning to understand to what extend the characteristics of an instrument condition the tonal picture. When we stopped projecting Renaissance musical characteristics back into the Middle Ages we made a great leap forward: our new models were found in selected practices from South-East Asia, the Middle East and North Africa, music based upon monophony and instrumental applications growing out of a serious aesthetic theory which in very general terms could be applied to Western music. We never directly imitated Eastern music, but passed what we had learned through what might be termed a “Western filter” in an attempt to recreate the lost art of medieval instrumental performance.

提起蔡的《不散》。片尾的花絮有他的訪談。驚訝地看到他是一個幾乎羅嗦的人，和他的電影完全兩樣，亦且拉票一樣推賣他的《天橋》。我大約斷章取義了吧。但是不是處身社會的人總不自覺的有被認同的慾望？不過我喜歡他關於廁所的主張。他本人給人的印象與作品的不一致令我對他產生懷疑，雖然知道我對他電影的詮釋和其本身本不相同，更何況電影之於人有如鏡鑒，每一個人眼睛裡看到的總是自己。可是這一點不一致已經足夠令我認為他不夠純粹。

快六點了。我們正在進入最漫長的黑夜。想起以前在艾蕪海灘的公寓。夜深兩三點時候不用開窗都可以聽見浪濤。春天的時候有鳥鳴響徹長夜，聲音清厲動聽，不知道那是不是夜鶯。