偏見對人的影響似乎是，使人漸對一件事物的看法從它 innocent until proven guilty 變為 guilty until proven innocent.

醒的片刻 The Cure 的歌跨入我的夢。張著眼睛平躺在床上，在放大的音響裡目光穿越天花板凝視天空，想像自己古稀年時仍如一貫跟隨這旋律歌唱起來，仍如一貫夢想。

他的聲音永遠帶還我青少年期不滅的願望。
 

The Cure: The Loudest Sound (Bloodflowers) 

Side by side in silence
They pass away the day
So comfortable, so habitual…
And so nothing left to say

Nothing left to say
Nothing left to say

Side by side in silence
His thoughts echo round
He looks up at the sky…
She looks down at the ground

Stares down at the ground
Stares down at the ground

Side by side in silence
They wish for different worlds
She dreams him as a boy…
And he loves her as a girl

Loves her as a girl…

And side by side in silence
Without a single word…

It’s the loudest sound
It’s the loudest sound…

It’s the loudest sound I ever heard

天色鬱鬱，擁被坐於後庭讀書，籬欄邊開滿墻的素馨（Jasminum polyanthum），瑩如初雪，和風裏暗香來襲，一忽一忽，飄遍了整個下午。阿希決心將庭角的一畦開為菜園，砍掉幾柳長得鋪天蓋地的常春藤，鬆了土，從市場買回幾株綠草植在當中。四體不勤五穀不分的我，把青椒認作九層塔，茄子當作青豆，兀自訕笑了一番，從此識得了。

天色鼠灰的星期六，讓週日午後隱隱的低潮提早到來。 

週四說了太多的話，人好像脫水的蔬菜，蔫蔫的。週五陽光爛漫，可吐不出一個字。今天雲又積起來，想找個啞人去爬山。一個人沒有動力，兩個人卻嫌聒噪。

總也寫不完的過去，在筆尖沙沙划響的時候，像下得更大的雪片，更綿密的落下來。 

那個一直沉寂的、讓我等待的聲音，讓我孤寂的獨白，好像面對無邊的黑  那令人聲嘶的呐喊。

在圖書館坐到肢體冰冷，出得門，滿眼短衫短褲的少年。裹緊外套和圍巾，我一踽踽老婦，來自北極。

她媽媽催她結婚，我說妳便把我搬出來做擋箭牌吧。我也是老死不要結婚的人。可媽媽說，等我老了誰養我。我又胡亂的豪言壯語起來，有我養妳。可等我老了摔倒了，你拖都拖不動。那我生個兒子養咱倆。

等我老了，誰也不要，只要和童年的好夥伴在一起。

人生好像在慢鏡頭裏從高崖跌落，不知哪一天才觸到地。珍惜的人，好像跌落時抓住的繩索上一個個的結，不由自主的要攥緊，待到最後一個結也從指縫裏滑脫，大概是時候徹底放棄。

用最簡的字句紀錄當下的生活和思慮。用暴露現狀但掩藏指涉的斷語。不知許久以後翻回頭重讀，是否能明白個中含義？

silence, solitude, music from the noises
dwell in the realm of unspoken words

art, the expression
the echo, the resonance
gaze into the gestures unseen

my images
their images
my words
their words
a sudden insight of one’s own mediocrity
  sharpens the world around it

1-minute ex libris, homemade, mass production
first color experiments, with or without brush

Sunday afternoon anxiety
  like a hangover on the Monday morning

Urna Chahar-Tugchi: Jigder Nana
(Tal Nutag - Lieder Aus Dem Mongolischen Grasland)

Urna Chahar-Tugchi: Hödöö
(Tal Nutag - Lieder Aus Dem Mongolischen Grasland)

一整天在聼同一首歌。爲什麽總是最安靜的音樂讓人產生最強烈的熱望。我喜歡 Anouar Brahem 這張照片，以及這一類的照片。好像褪掉了彩色。起初幾乎誤以爲黑白片，可凝視愈久，那一點滴顔料愈豐富，黑愈濃重，白愈分明。

這許多浮想聯翩，也許是，冬天裏的光線和聲響都空洞了，不禁打翻思緒以製造内心的熱鬧。

These pieces emerged from the keys of a piano. Still affected by the powerful emotion of the encounter, and the exhasustion which followed the recording of “Thimar”. I set the oud aside for a few months, something that had never happened to me before. It was as though the music came from there, from the spaces created by that pause. As though it was the very expression of that lack.

…The piano was the main character, the sole protagonist. It was only later on that the oud came in. It joined the piano gradually, discreetly at first, then it assumed its place. It was a long time, on the other hand, before the idea of integrating the accordion came into my head, whereas it seems obvious to me now. It’s like this music’s inner song.

…A tempo passed on to me by the movement of a tree I could see from my window, swaying gently in the breeze.

- Anouar Brahem, Les pas du chat noir

Anouar Brahem: Leila au pays du carrousel (Les pas du chat noir)

The world was all before them, where to choose
Their place of rest, and Providence their guide.
They hand in hand, with wand’ring steps and slow,
Through Eden took their solitary way.

- John Milton, 1608-1674, Paradise Lost, Book XII

Andreas Scholl: With Wand’ring Steps (The Merchant of Venice)

Absence makes the heart grow fonder.

Salvatore
Sabatore
Sabatori
Turi
Turitito
Toto
Sabuccio
…

Chi e sottomesso capodanno e sottomesso totale anno

Happy New Year!